It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
