R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize