How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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