I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
How external is "for external use only"?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
