I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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