Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize