No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
where are you?
Hypothermia
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
