You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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