i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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