this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Found your dick twin last night
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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