can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize