Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
