real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
