I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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