fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
