Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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