Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize
