i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
