I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
