So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
