zippers are such a cool invention
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Randomize
