allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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