I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
