I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just cropdusted the office
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Randomize
