They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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