i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
