Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
