So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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