How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
