If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
