I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
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