the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
