pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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