I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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