yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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