why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
