I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
