Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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