I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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