She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
