were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
