I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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