i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
