don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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