So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize