Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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