Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
