Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
