i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
