Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
