I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
