Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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