So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I've blown a few things in my day
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
