So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize