Please, let me fuck your mom
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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