Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
