Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
