is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
