How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
