Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
