how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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