What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
i believe in u and ur pee
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
