$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Randomize
