Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Come share oat with me in your robe
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
