i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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