do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
