Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
what day is it and did you see me today?
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
