Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
