a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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