I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
