Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize